There are times when you are in such an ecstasy that you feel dazed. The tingling sensation of rapture crawls around in your body, giving you electric shots that seem to numb your entire organ systems.
I shook hands with the minister of Queensland. Despite the fact that it was the scene I had dreamed for a long time, I didn’t sense anything special – I simply felt stupefied. As soon as my hand wrapped around his hand, there were blinding flashes everywhere. Professional cameras clicked energetically, making me even more dazed. As I gradually recovered from the temporary anesthesia, flashes slowly ceased and a young woman came up to me.
“So Gina, how were you able to become the school captain? Do you have any special plans or ambitions?” Jillian Whiting, an ABC News reporter, asked in an excited voice.
“Umm… I…” I started hesitantly. Suddenly, my mind was deluged with flashbacks of my previous saccharine years.
My life in Australia began when I was 11 years old. I was such an innocent girl, living a simplistic, positive life, so simple that I thought moving to a new school barely knowing English would be just as simple. Then I soon perceived the reality. I wasn’t able to talk, understand, write, or read. A complete cut-off from communication gave me a vindictive title of ‘deafy’. The inability to freely communicate changed my personality from extrovert to introvert, and my Asian background formed an even wider gap between the friends and me. Everyday, I cried of loneliness, humiliation, and isolation. The only way to get out of the nightmare was to study and learn English. Every second of school I had to gulp down anxiety, embarrassment, and sadness, but the agony propelled me to study harder.
At the beginning of grade 7, I was nominated for the school captain position. This, I thought, was my chance. Every night I spent my energy practicing my speech, determined to acquire the position. At the end of the Election Day, I heard my name being announced as the year’s school captain. The months of pain and melancholy gently evaporated, leaving my body light and fresh. The sudden lift of the heavy burden gave me chills and brought me unwanted flush of tears; in the midst of cheering roars, I wept uncontrollably.
My story was broadcasted on the ABC News by Jillian, and that was when a whole new life began. The next day, I was a school star; and the day after, I was the “town star”. St. Lucia Supermarket woman recognized me. Curry restaurant’s waiters greeted me as “the captain”. The people on the streets glanced at me and smiled. Everyday I savored the ecstatic numbness I felt during the handshake with the minister. My life was suddenly from a failure to a victory.
Few days later, I was walking around with a bunch of new Australian friends when I saw Xiao. Xiao was my first Chinese friend I had made at the school, and I ran to her with overflowing excitement. However, she was not excited to see me at all. When the other girls left us alone, Xiao all of a sudden started to cry.
“Go to them, Gina,” Xiao said. “I can’t be your friend anymore. You are too good for me. We had been equally bad at English, but you worked hard and succeeded, while I never did anything.”
Startled, I said ‘no way’, and told her how she was still my good friend. Looking a little bit relieved, Xiao said, “Gina, I am so proud of you. You are not just my friend – you are my hope.”
BAM! It was then when her words punched me right in the face. I was her hope? The word “hope”, instead of being interpreted as a compliment, shattered my dreamy happiness and shook me awake to see the reality. The satisfaction and content with ecstatic numbness burst into flames, leaving the ashes meandering around, unable to settle. I was extremely confused and bewildered as the great happiness slithered away from me. For weeks, I had been intoxicated with my achievement and the fame. However, that was not my duty as the school captain. My true responsibility was to help and encourage people like Xiao. I closed my eyes and the flashback started – my struggle through English with the single hope of overcoming the nightmare. I was not to forget my painful past; I was supposed to support the others through empathy and understanding. I was destined to give them “the hope” to overcome the hardship in communication and eventually succeed.
As I was coming to a realization, a big event was beginning in my school. STEM, short for Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics Convention, was being held at a local high school, and my school was going to participate. When I wasn’t even aware of the Convention, Xiao urged me to go with her. Without thinking, I simply followed her, never expecting to find my potential talents.
Our task for the Convention was designing an experiment and presenting it at the conference. Blankly, I decided to participate and become partners with Xiao. When the others heard about my partner, they started to whisper.
“Why Xiao? There are plenty of other smarter people. Xiao can’t even speak in correct English. Xiao’s gonna totally fail Gina.”
I was outraged at the malicious, nasty people. I felt my body tremble, and my fist rising up to smack the girls in the face. However, I did not let my anger take over me. I remained patient, and decided to show the evil kids who Xiao and I really were.
The next day, we chose our topic as “Acid Rain’s Effect on Plant Growth”. Xiao bought sets of plants to be used in the experiment, and I organized them in the school backyard. Each day, we would water the sets of plants with tap water, vinegar, and synthetic acid rain solution, and then record the observations in detail. As I was doing the task, I became more and more interested in science experiment. I had to thank Xiao for giving me the chance to discover my interest. I realized that I was skilled in organizing the experiment and collecting data - I found my potential talent.
Our assignment continued well, until one day, a severe storm raged across the town and demolished our experiment set. With the plants destroyed, Xiao and I could not continue the task anymore. Frustrated, we cried helplessly, when Xiao came to a conclusion – to write about the accident so that the evaluators can at least see our full, honest process.
On the presentation day, we put up our results posters. Quite confident, we looked around the conference to see how the others did. We were shocked. From a field of biology to a world of chemistry, from the world of chemistry to wonders of physics, from the wonders of physics to hidden features of Earth Science, from the hidden features of Earth Science to marvels of mechanics… Tens of other upper grade teams had much more complicated and interesting experiments that varied in all sorts of topics. The diverse experiment designs that equally had excellent-looking posters, photos, samples, and simulations were incomparable to our rudimentary work. The only thing we could do was to dumbly gawk at the fantastic works of the other groups.
At the end of the day, the evaluators gave out awards for best topic, best knowledge, best presentation, etc. We obviously did not have the best topic, best knowledge, or best presentation. We did not even have to worry about the other awards, because we were certainly not getting one. Not anticipating any surprises, Xiao and I were quietly listening to the results, and clapping automatically when people with cantaloupe smiles ran up to the stage. We were dozing off in our seats from tiredness when the conference was announcing the recipients for another award.
“The winner of the best scientific process goes to 7th grade students – Gina Lee and Xiao Chen!”
I jolted upright as my eyes flew open. For a second, I thought I had unnoticeably drifted off into a favorable dream. When I looked at my side, Xiao was blinking and frowning with disbelief and confusion. If it had been my dream, how come Xiao was baffled like me? My heart started to beat. Fast. I kept on shaking my head to comprehend the situation. May be this is a strange coincidence where there are two other 7th grade students whose names are same as our names. However, the possibility was very rare. We were both gaping at each other when a teacher standing on the side poked us hard on the shoulders to go up on the stage. What was going on…?
Then I understood. We had done it.
Yes! We made it! We won, Xiao! What a dramatic achievement! Fighting back the tears of glory and awe, we dashed up to the stage and held up the dazzling trophy as high as we could. The trophy was pleasantly cool like a crisp autumn morning air, and bright like the sparkles of a magnificent pink diamond. As my eyes welled up with the unwanted tears again, my sights blurred and the words ‘Best Scientific Process – WINNER’ seemed to be gleefully swimming across the trophy. We heard the raucous cheers of our school and other school’s encouraging claps. Panting with joy and excitement, we looked at each other and grabbed each other’s hands firmly. Oh, how that handshake was warm and welcoming! That was a real handshake. I felt something different from the encounter with the minister, different from the electoral as the school captain, and different from the days of fame. I was not dazed. I felt the true happiness of success.
Until now, the happiness at the STEM remains as the biggest happiness in my life. Why? Even though my life had seemed perfect after becoming the school captain, I had never known about the true success. I did achieve the highest position possible for a student, but that was minimal compared to Xiao and my “co-victory”. I now know that success is not done alone, but is achieved together. Abraham Lincoln said “we can succeed only by concert, not as individuals.” It is not just I who win; it is we. In addition, the STEM glory “kicked the butts” of the evil friends, and proved that even the team of two non-talented people can succeed.
During the interview, Jillian Whiting asked me two things: my story and my ambition. Engrossed in describing my story, I actually forgot to answer about my future goals as the school captain, and my year passed away without any goals planned or achieved. Fortunately, my life does not end with the school captain, and I can always achieve something higher. Therefore, now I answer Jillian’s question. My ambition is to understand and care for the others who have hard time learning and adapting to new cultures, because I know better than anyone how much that is difficult. I want to help them in real action, for example by becoming friends with shy, not-so-popular second English speakers who are frustrated at their school. In a more holistic sense, I would like to visit and help the foreign laborers in Korea and support their rights to the full deed. Most importantly, I want to let them know that we can all succeed when we endeavor together. We can help each other out by seeking for each other's potential talents. It is my goal to savor the “true success” with all of those individuals. Let me begin.
