I-Search: Phase 1

Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it." - Buddha

Over the upcoming high school years, I will be making a challenging, yet exciting decision. The decision, choosing my career, is a very important issue that should be dealt carefully through deep consideration and detailed analysis of myself. I have been given a task of finding and analyzing information about my possible job. This phase is about developing background information for choosing a job and formulating some research questions. Through brainstorming, thinking, and assessing my attitudes and aptitudes, I have speculated every part of me to get the answer for what career path I should pursue. Currently, I have chosen a Chief Executive Officer as my career. In my opinion, that is a job that I can discover and give all my heart to, because it suits my personalities and talents. In truth, however, my job remains unclear; even though this is just an exercise, I am nervous to declare my career when the vast, unknown future awaits to devour me and drag me into a brand new world. Still, I hope this research assignment nurtures my knowledge and experience so that I can apply my skills for future career decisions.

Brainstorming

How do I plan on choosing a career?

As a freshman, I cannot determine what subject I am talented in, in what field I am going to major, or what college I am going to attend to succeed in a career. However, one thing I am sure about is that I will analyze my school results, my social relationships, and my interests to choose a job that I would both enjoy and learn from.

Does my gender make a difference?

Not really. Until the 1900's, men were considered superior than women, and women were treated unfairly - their career was highly restricted. Consequently, they formed only a minor group in a society as people without serious jobs. However, now is the 21st century, and women are being treated equally as men, or perhaps, even better than the men. Therefore, they can freely involve themselves in any job. For this reason, as a girl, I do not think my gender makes a difference - no matter what the others say, it is me who decide what I am going to do in my life.

Who will help me choose a career?

Mostly, my parents and teachers will help me choose a career because they are the ones who know my academic and social skills the most. Friends will be reliable and helpful as well. 

Can the Bible offer any help?

The Bible presents lots of information (in other words God's messages) on pursuing my goal in exemplary attitudes. Right now, I am not cognizant of all those certain attitudes, and the Bible will guide me to choose an appropriate pathway by teaching me.

My Talents

I am neither extraordinary nor special, but I am unique. In a negative way, 'unique' can mean 'weird'. Strangely, I admit that I am weird - I am different from everybody and always out of the norm. Actually, I think my unique nature is what makes my talents palpable. When all my friends are scared of making public speeches in front of a large crowd, I am always highly anticipated about the presentations, then become very confident and calm as I talk to the audience. That is why I love debates and presentations. I am not the best in debates because my knowledge and logics often fail. However, as the other teams tremble with nervousness, I stand behind the podium with a straight posture and announce my words clearly, strongly, and persuasively.

My another weird character is enjoying a leader position. Many people choose to be the followers, but I choose to be the person in spotlight. In classes, I usually remain quiet as that helps me more to think and study than answering the teacher every time or discussing with friends. Therefore, people who are not close to me misleadingly perceive me as an introvert person. The quiet image of me in school lessons alarms the others when I chat with them loudly during lunch time or break time. As they get used to me, however, they seem to realize that I am a quite extrovert person who starts off most of the conversations and like to be in charge of things. So far, many people have liked that personality; I have succeeded in mostly all of the elections I ran for.

The last talent I have is being determined. Not just plain 'determined', but tenacious and resilient. Some would interpret me as an arrogant snob after reading this statement, but I really do not care. If I have a goal, then I will passionately endeavor and strive towards the goal no matter what interferes me. Even if I face many hardships like heinous failures, I will continue on. Most of the times, my lack of experience and intelligence compared to the other trillions of whiz kids pulls me down - I am certainly not smart, not athletic, not musical, and not artistic. However, the single, extremely determined talent propels me to conjure up miracles like winning in sports competitions or getting good grades.

For I was gratefully gifted by God these three wonderful talents, I am happy to admit my weirdness, and follow my unique path to pursue my future goals.

My Values

In our lives, there are billions of things we value. Some of them are neither rare nor expensive. However, people like me value those more than just tangible, luxurious things that we can see everyday. Those values are characters, the personalities that are glinted in important moments of lives such as choosing a career. I have top three of those values: having power, being successful, and being responsible.

Number one, having power, is the most valuable to me because I highly enjoy and am talented in being a leader. The feeling of being in control of things is spectacular; you are the model for everybody, and you can do anything. Many would argue that I have a chance of becoming an evil dictator. Fortunately, I well know that I am not going to be, and never want to be, a mini Hitler. What I mean by being a powerful leader is being a generous, understanding, and wise leader who would guide and help the others to follow the moral and happy path. The leader would use the power not to act selfishly, but to control the rules and all sorts of business to let the people stay in order and peace. Of course, I am currently no where near becoming such an ideal leader. Nevertheless, I will try and learn until I become one.

Number two, being successful, is the next value for me. The obvious reason for this is that 'success is awesome'. Imagine yourself happy, smart, rich, famous, or popular! That is success, the essence of life. Especially, the success that is attained after many disastrous failures is the best gourmet in the world. Success not only gives you happiness and brings you a lot of money, but also makes you work hard and learn; I believe that success can only be achieved through effort. Some unlucky people achieve success by a luck - their fake success does not continue on very long. The true success is what I value, and what I will always pursue.

Number three, being responsible, is the third important value for me. This derives from my number one value of having power. A powerful leader must perform his or her duties. Why would you call a person a leader when he or she cannot even do the assigned jobs? My dream and value is having power, and I think it is my first priority to take the responsibility.

Learning Styles Assessment Results

Learning styles are people's different ways of learning. There are three main learning styles: auditory learning, visual learning, and kinesthetic learning. Auditory learning applies to people who remember and absorb new concepts the most through listening. They can develop their learning through recording the lectures and lessons to listen again, or reading materials aloud to help them understand the information easily. Visual learning applies to people who draw in much information through reading or looking. Because the visual learners "visualize" the words and images in their brain to process information, drawing diagrams or taking notes can help them remember a lot. Kinesthetic learning applies to people who can acquire new knowledge the best through movements and activities, such as building stuff. As the kinesthetic learners want to move around instead of sitting down for the whole lecture, they should participate in dynamic activities and act out (if possible) the new concepts to fully comprehend what they learned.

The analyzed results about my learning style were, surprisingly, very similar to my actual learning habits. I study well in cool-temperatured and bright places, where I independently focus on what I am doing instead of multi-tasking (eating or chatting with friends). I am driven by self-motivation mostly, but sometimes affected by teacher feedbacks and parent expectations. I understand and remember the best when I hear and write down, but I am okay in learning through reading and doing kinesthetic activities. The only minor flaw the result had was that it said I lacked in learning through visuals - as I am a person who enjoys learning, and have learned well through reading and comprehending visual aids until now. However, I do think that I am more of an auditory learner - I used to be an excellent visual learner, grasping new information by throughly reading and understanding the resources, but nowadays I am better at absorbing information when I listen to the teachers. Also, I often find myself more focused and more engaged in studying when I read a context out-loud to myself.

Personality Assessment Results

Interestingly, the personality test showed even more accurate results than the learning styles test did. Basically, all the detailed descriptions about me matched with my actual personalities. I am mostly energetic, social, and leader-like, but seldom calm and quiet. I have strong responsibility and a high regard for keeping rules. Therefore, I detest people who do not do their duties or go against the rules, bringing negative influence to the others. I am fairly organized and easily become tense when things are not in order. I have a tendency of finishing one task well at a time instead of exploring different tasks at the same time. All of the aforementioned points were mentioned in the test results, which amazed me.

Self-Directed Search Assessment Results

Before I began this assessment, I was told to think of some future career positions that I want to attain. I, as a person interested in all sorts of arenas, wrote down every single job I would like to try: lawyer, dentist, psychologist, professor, President, United Nations Secretary-General, CEO, or writer. I saw my potentials in these careers through the suggestions made by the learning style and personality test results. Expecting three or four of these positions to come out as my possible career, I merrily dived into the self-directed search survey - and the results were shocking.

The only job that I was interested out of the over-twenty results was 'psychologist'. The other jobs included chief of sanitary water systems, lab conductor, lab supervisor, geologist, and playwright. Geologist? Playwright? Alas, neither my talents nor my interests were not related to any of the listed job choices. Also, I was very disappointed to find not a single job related to politics, because I was quite talented in verbal skills and research and thus wanted to get jobs such as President or lawyer. I was appalled at the highly-incorrect results. As I carefully thought about what might have been the possible cause for this wrong interpretation, I realized that I had made the gap too big for the search tool. Before I began, I should have known what specific area I am specially talented in or interested in, such as science, engineering, or arts. However, I did not narrow down the area and went on to tick every box of various areas that I favored. The area with the most "likes" was science, and the second was arts. Even though they can be linked in some ways, it is rare to find "my-style jobs" (famous, high salary, and interesting) with a correlation between the science and arts. Therefore, the results did not contain many choices that I was expecting as ideal outcomes.

Spiritual Gift Assessment Results

I  know that I am not a spiritual person, and that I am not an avid Christian. Therefore, I know I cannot connect with God through wisdom, teaching, knowledge, service, giving, evangelism, or apostleship. However, since I was six, I have enjoyed praying to God. Through prayer, I have repented, thanked, wished, and showed him my true feelings. Most of all, I have trusted God as my guide and my savior at all times. I have "trusted in supernatural answers when it is not apparent how God will work." I have moved "forward even in opposition." These characteristics (my spiritual gifts)  showed in the results - the highest value came out as 'Faith'. The next highest value was administration, which is clarifying goals and developing strategies/plans. The next highest values (two equal amounts of points) were leadership (taking responsibility and influencing others) and prophecy (bringing changes in other people's lives).

Spiritual Pathway Assessment Results

I am a sort of person who enjoys challenge and becomes excited when confronting obstacles. No matter how tired I get, I usually come alive when a challenge is placed before me. "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going!"
This nature of me applied to my spiritual pathway and resulted in the highest number for an "Activist" for my preferred spiritual pathway. The next highest result was a relational pathway, and that made sense as well; I love hanging out with people to share stories about God and always get interested in connecting with God through hearing the others' opinions. The next highest result was worship, and I am guessing that is why I enjoy praise and worship the most during chapel time.
This result was helpful for me in discovering myself and my identity in terms of being spiritual/religious. Even though I knew about my qualities in spiritual pathways, it was refreshing to learn about them through an assessment.

Research Questions

Before I began the research, I was in a quandary; I had no idea what job I would find information on. Even though I had previously planned on becoming a CEO, I also wanted to be a lawyer, professor, doctor/physician, news-reporter, or a novelist. A visualization helped me to come to a conclusion. As I imagined myself as an adult in each of those positions, I realized I would be the most well-suited for a CEO. These were the three big research questions I came up with.

1. What types of CEO are there? What are their roles?

I thought this question was important because I have to know my area and my responsibilities. I need to explore different types of CEO out in the world and choose to become a CEO of one certain company or a specific governmental organization. Also, as the chief, I need to identify my duties such as meeting other important officials and holding seminars and conferences within the company people to discuss new plans and projects. That way, I would  have the basic, vital knowledge of who a CEO is.

2. How is the life style of a CEO going to look like?

For this question, I planned to include some details related to the power or social status a CEO possesses, the average amount of income (salary), working years, time he/she spends in working, and leisure time with families and friends. I chose this question because I wanted to make sure I can live a socially, intellectually, emotionally, and physically healthy life as a CEO.

3. Am I going to enjoy this job?

This question cannot be directly answered from the research information. However, by retrieving facts from the first and second question, and finding additional information on other chief executive officers (interviews, newspaper/magazine articles, etc), I would be able to answer this with some personal opinions. This question, in my opinion, will get the shortest yet most vital answer for this assignment as enjoying one's career is the essence of having a job.

So far, I have not found any information on these questions. As I search through library books and utilize some websites, I will get satisfying answers to the three questions. Hopefully, the information gathered will be useful for my future career life.

I-Search: Phase 2

A career of my interest is a Chief Executive Officer, abbreviated as CEO. In order to match this job with my natural talents and personalities, I first need to know the types, characteristics, and duties of CEO. I can ask my grandfather for lots of information, because he was the CEO of Samsung Card Industry and worked in the company for more than 30 years. He would have tons of knowledge about how a company should be run as a leader. I can find information from various websites related CEO organizations that should give me plenty of information on the tasks of the chief officers. I can search through newspapers and magazines such as Time or Newsweek to learn about the duties and responsibilities of the 21st century leaders that are expected from societies. I can look through encyclopedia in library to get the general information on what a CEO does. The previous research conducted on my character traits and natural abilities will back up the information from these sources.

Spiritual Pathway Assignment

I am a sort of person who enjoys challenge and becomes excited when confronting obstacles. No matter how tired I get, I usually come alive when a challenge is placed before me. "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going!"
This nature of me applied to my spiritual pathway and resulted in the highest number for an "Activist" for my preferred spiritual pathway. The next highest result was a relational pathway, and that made sense as well; I love hanging out with people to share stories about God and always get interested in connecting with God through hearing the others' opinions. The next highest result was worship, and I am guessing that is why I enjoy praise and worship the most during chapel time.
This result was helpful for me in discovering myself and my identity in terms of being spiritual/religious. Even though I knew about my qualities in spiritual pathways, it was refreshing to learn about them through an assessment.

Spiritual Gifts Assessment

I know that I am not a spiritual person, and that I am not an avid Christian. Therefore, I know I cannot connect with God through wisdom, teaching, knowledge, service, giving, evangelism, or apostleship. However, since I was six, I have enjoyed praying to God. Through prayer, I have repented, thanked, wished, and showed him my true feelings. Most of all, I have trusted God as my guide and my savior at all times. I have "trusted in supernatural answers when it is not apparent how God will work." I have moved "forward even in opposition." These characteristics (my spiritual gifts)  showed in the results - the highest value came out as 'Faith'. The next highest value was administration, which is clarifying goals and developing strategies/plans. The next highest values (two equal amounts of points) were leadership (taking responsibility and influencing others) and prophecy (bringing changes in other people's lives).

Self-Directed Search assessment results

Before I began this assessment, I was told to think of some future career positions that I want to attain. I, as a person interested in all sorts of arenas, wrote down every single job I would like to try: lawyer, dentist, psychologist, professor, President, United Nations Secretary-General, CEO, or writer. I saw my potentials in these careers through the suggestions made by the learning style and personality test results. Expecting three or four of these positions to come out as my possible career, I merrily dived into the self-directed search survey - and the results were shocking.

The only job that I was interested out of the over-twenty results was 'psychologist'. The other jobs included chief of sanitary water systems, lab conductor, lab supervisor, geologist, and playwright. Geologist? Playwright? Alas, neither my talents nor my interests were not related to any of the listed job choices. Also, I was very disappointed to find not a single job related to politics, because I was quite talented in verbal skills and research and thus wanted to get jobs such as President or lawyer. I was appalled at the highly-incorrect results. As I carefully thought about what might have been the possible cause for this wrong interpretation, I realized that I had made the gap too big for the search tool. Before I began, I should have known what specific area I am specially talented in or interested in, such as science, engineering, or arts. However, I did not narrow down the area and went on to tick every box of various areas that I favored. The area with the most "likes" was science, and the second was arts. Even though they can be linked in some ways, it is rare to find "my-style jobs" (famous, high salary, and interesting) with a correlation between the science and arts. Therefore, the results did not contain many choices that I was expecting as ideal outcomes.

Personality assessment results

Interestingly, the personality test showed even more accurate results than the learning styles test did. Basically, all the detailed descriptions about me matched with my actual personalities. I am mostly energetic, social, and leader-like, but seldom calm and quiet. I have strong responsibility and a high regard for keeping rules. Therefore, I detest people who do not do their duties or go against the rules, bringing negative influence to the others. I am fairly organized and easily become tense when things are not in order. I have a tendency of finishing one task well at a time instead of exploring different tasks at the same time. All of the aforementioned points were mentioned in the test results, which amazed me.

Learning Style Assessment Results

Learning styles are people's different ways of learning. There are three main learning styles: auditory learning, visual learning, and kinesthetic learning. Auditory learning applies to people who remember and absorb new concepts the most through listening. They can develop their learning through recording the lectures and lessons to listen again, or reading materials aloud to help them understand the information easily. Visual learning applies to people who draw in much information through reading or looking. Because the visual learners "visualize" the words and images in their brain to process information, drawing diagrams or taking notes can help them remember a lot. Kinesthetic learning applies to people who can acquire new knowledge the best through movements and activities, such as building stuff. As the kinesthetic learners want to move around instead of sitting down for the whole lecture, they should participate in dynamic activities and act out (if possible) the new concepts to fully comprehend what they learned.

The analyzed results about my learning style were, surprisingly, very similar to my actual learning habits. I study well in cool-temperatured and bright places, where I independently focus on what I am doing instead of multi-tasking (eating or chatting with friends). I am driven by self-motivation mostly, but sometimes affected by teacher feedbacks and parent expectations. I understand and remember the best when I hear and write down, but I am okay in learning through reading and doing kinesthetic activities. The only minor flaw the result had was that it said I lacked in learning through visuals - as I am a person who enjoys learning, and have learned well through reading and comprehending visual aids until now. However, I do think that I am more of an auditory learner - I used to be an excellent visual learner, grasping new information by throughly reading and understanding the resources, but nowadays I am better at absorbing information when I listen to the teachers. Also, I often find myself more focused and more engaged in studying when I read a context out-loud to myself.

My Top 3 Values

In our lives, there are billions of things we value. Some of them are neither rare nor expensive. However, people like me value those more than just tangible, luxurious things that we can see everyday. Those values are characters, the personalities that are glinted in important moments of lives such as choosing a career. I have top three of those values: having power, being successful, and being responsible.
Number one, having power, is the most valuable to me because I highly enjoy and am talented in being a leader. The feeling of being in control of things is spectacular; you are the model for everybody, and you can do anything. Many would argue that I have a chance of becoming an evil dictator. Fortunately, I well know that I am not going to be, and never want to be, a mini Hitler. What I mean by being a powerful leader is being a generous, understanding, and wise leader who would guide and help the others to follow the moral and happy path. The leader would use the power not to act selfishly, but to control the rules and all sorts of business to let the people stay in order and peace. Of course, I am currently no where near becoming such an ideal leader. Nevertheless, I will try and learn until I become one.
Number two, being successful, is the next value for me. The obvious reason for this is that 'success is awesome'. Imagine yourself happy, smart, rich, famous, or popular! That is success, the essence of life. Especially, the success that is attained after many disastrous failures is the best gourmet in the world. Success not only gives you happiness and brings you a lot of money, but also makes you work hard and learn; I believe that success can only be achieved through effort. Some unlucky people achieve success by a luck - their fake success does not continue on very long. The true success is what I value, and what I will always pursue.
Number three, being responsible, is the third important value for me. This derives from my number one value of having power. A powerful leader must perform his or her duties. Why would you call a person a leader when he or she cannot even do the assigned jobs? My dream and value is having power, and I think it is my first priority to take the responsibility.

My Talent - Revised

I am neither extraordinary nor special, but I am unique. In a negative way, 'unique' can mean 'weird'. Strangely, I admit that I am weird - I am different from everybody and always out of the norm. Actually, I think my unique nature is what makes my talents palpable. When all my friends are scared of making public speeches in front of a large crowd, I am always highly anticipated about the presentations, then become very confident and calm as I talk to the audience. That is why I love debates and presentations. I am not the best in debates because my knowledge and logics often fail. However, as the other teams tremble with nervousness, I stand behind the podium with a straight posture and announce my words clearly, strongly, and persuasively.
My another weird character is enjoying a leader position. Many people choose to be the followers, but I choose to be the person in spotlight. In classes, I usually remain quiet as that helps me more to think and study than answering the teacher every time or discussing with friends. Therefore, people who are not close to me misleadingly perceive me as an introvert person. The quiet image of me in school lessons alarms the others when I chat with them loudly during lunch time or break time. As they get used to me, however, they seem to realize that I am a quite extrovert person who starts off most of the conversations and like to be in charge of things. So far, many people have liked that personality; I have succeeded in mostly all of the elections I ran for.
The last talent I have is being determined. Not just plain 'determined', but tenacious and resilient. Some would interpret me as an arrogant snob after reading this statement, but I really do not care. If I have a goal, then I will passionately endeavor and strive towards the goal no matter what interferes me. Even if I face many hardships like heinous failures, I will continue on. Most of the times, my lack of experience and intelligence compared to the other trillions of whiz kids pulls me down - I am certainly not smart, not athletic, not musical, and not artistic. However, the single, extremely determined talent propels me to conjure up miracles like winning in sports competitions or getting good grades.
For I was gratefully gifted by God these three wonderful talents, I am happy to admit my weirdness, and follow my unique path to pursue my future goals.

Talent

My definition of talent:

An aptitude or ability that was originally granted to everybody; all the people have some kind of talent, and the talents can be determined and developed through time and effort invested by individuals. It is like your wealth, because you naturally possess the wealth but can always control the wealth by yourself.

My talents:

I am neither extraordinary nor special, but I am unique. In a bad way, 'unique' can mean 'weird'. However, I admit that I am weird - I am different from everybody, simply out of the norm. Actually, my strangeness is what makes my talents palpable. When all my friends are scared of talking in public or making formal speeches in front of a crowd, I enjoy and sometimes become even more confident and calm when I talk to a large audience. That is why I love debates and presentations. I am not the best in debates because my knowledge and logics fail, but when talking persuasively, I am very energetic. My another weird character is enjoying a leader position. Many people choose to be followers, but I choose to be the person in spotlight. Sometimes I like to remain quiet, and this quiet image of me alarms the others when I suddenly speak up in front of them saying I want to show leadership. No matter what they say, that is just the way I am, and in most of the elections for leader positions I have not failed. The last talent I have is that I am determined. Not just plain 'determined', but tenacious and resilient. If I have a passionate goal, then I will endeavor and strive towards the goal no matter what interferes me. Most of the times, my lack of experience and intelligence pulls me down - I am certainly not smart, not athletic, not musical, and not artistic. However, the single, extremely determined talent propels me to conjure up miracles like winning in sports competitions or getting good grades. For I was gratefully gifted by God these three wonderful talents, I am happy enough to admit my weirdness, and follow my unique path to pursue those talents.

Thought Questions

How do you plan on choosing a career?

As a freshman, I cannot determine what subject I am talented in, in what field I am going to major, or what college I am going to attend to succeed in a career. However, one thing I am sure about is that I will analyze my school results, my social relationships, and my interests to choose a job that I would both enjoy and learn from.

Does your gender make a difference?

Not really. Until the 1900's, men were considered superior than women, and women were treated unfairly - their career was highly restricted. Consequently, they formed only a minor group in a society as people without serious jobs. However, now is the 21st century, and women are being treated equally as men, or perhaps, even better than the men. Therefore, they can freely involve themselves in any job. For this reason, as a girl, I do not think my gender makes a difference - no matter what the others say, it is me who decide what I am going to do in my life.

Who will help you choose a career?

Mostly, my parents and teachers will help me choose a career because they are the ones who know my academic and social skills the most. Friends will be reliable and helpful as well. 

Can the Bible offer any help?

The Bible presents lots of information (in other words God's messages) on pursuing my goal in exemplary attitudes. Right now, I am not cognizant of all those certain attitudes, and the Bible will guide me to choose an appropriate pathway by teaching me.

The Return of the Prodigal Son - Gina's version

Once upon a time, there lived a wealthy man in Israel who had two sons. Caleb, the first son, was an impeccable son, as he was intelligent, hard-working, honest, and polite. Therefore, he was highly respected and admired by his servants. The other son Campbell, on the other hand, was a disgusting snob who was a perfect model for arrogance, dereliction, and impertinent attitude. Campbell disliked working, and wondered why he had to work when his father still gave him good foods and good clothes. Also, he was bored to death by the daily routine with his brother and father. He was desperate to savor the freedom, using his abundant money all for himself.

One day, Campbell decided to ask his father for a part of the estate. Even though he had his own money, he knew he needed even more to fully enjoy his time with exorbitant wines and exquisite cuisines. When Campbell made the insolent request to the father, the servants and Caleb were appalled at the greedy behavior and shouted to the father to never give Campbell the money. However, without hesitation, the father handed Campbell the money, saying, "I love you, my son." Leaping with excitement, Campbell rushed out of the house without a word of thanks.

For the next five months, he roamed around the city, tasting the delicious meals every day and spending huge portions of his money on jewels and luxuries. He did not have to be stressed about working in his farm or respecting the others; everything was his world. The ecstatic days, unfortunately, did not continue for long.

Because he was only spending but never gaining, Campbell quickly ran out of money. He did not have a single penny to buy himself a small part of bread. Consequently, he was forced to sell all of his belongings back to the other people not to starve to death. When he was out of the jewels and clothes, he became a miserable beggar on the street. He was a shabby, poverty-stricken, sick man, grabbing at people's ankles for pennies or sometimes left-over rotten foods.

Weeping with depression, Campbell regretted his past behaviors. 'Only if I had been obedient to my father... Only if I had used the money efficiently...' he thought. At last, Campbell realized that his greed had led him to a failure in his life, and knew the only solution for survival was to return to his father. Therefore, he lifted himself up and headed towards his home.

For Campbell, it was good to be back at home. The elegant manor warmly greeted him, the vast land of farm welcomed him, and the delicate willows waved their frail hands... until his servants saw him and started growling with shock and anger. Terrified, Campbell ran towards the back gate and quickly entered the house. Then there he was, Campbell's father. Calm and mild as the beautiful weather outside, he smiled at the servants walking by and turned around, seeing Campbell standing in front of him. Before the father could say a word, Campbell kneeled down to the floor and started crying.

"Father! My dear father! I cannot say sorry right now as my apologies are too great and too much to be said in few words; but please forgive this pathetic son who has sinned against your kindness. This brute has finally realized your unfailing love that was bestowed all the time, as he was experiencing the agonizing and deathly results its absolute, foolish disobedience. So my loyal father, please do not blame yourself for having such a useless son like me, and use me as a slave who is right to endure the labor and pain all throughout his life."

Hearing the sorrowful repent, the father was gratified by the changed nature of his second son. However, he was more happy than gratified, as his lost son came back after the months of departure! Grinning with joy, he tightly hugged Campbell and wiped off the tears from his son's shabby face. He considered this to be the happiest moment in his days and busily ordered the servants for new clothes and best foods. It was then when the first son Caleb stormed in.

"Father! How your generosity ruins my day! For the last countless years I had been working hard while Campbell was doing nothing. I had been cleaning and helping the servants and respecting everybody, when he was extremely rude and lazy. I had been waiting for my party, my celebration, not that brute's party."

When the servants vigorously nodded at Caleb's statement, the father sighed. Shaking his head, he said: "The party will proceed on. My acolytes and my son Caleb, think once again. I understand how much you abhor Campbell's part behaviors, but you have seen how all of that attitude is now gone. He has become a new man. It is a happy day, or a happy "birthday", for the lost son has come back alive and has repented with an angel's mind."

"Captain Cousteau" - Paraphrasing

During the interview, Captain Jacques Cousteau admiringly talked about the Antarctic. He said that he was amazed at the important role the Antarctic plays for a control on human's climate system. The Antarctic's cold ocean water travels north to maintain a balanced temperature; it mixes with warm water in the tropics. In addition, the rising seawater of the Antarctic cool down both the surrounding atmosphere and water. Captain Cousteau then sadly continued on, saying that the current detrimental human activities are now ruining the delicate climate-control system of nature that has been automatically implemented for long.
Source from "Captain Cousteau," Audubon (May 1990):17.

"Reaching for the Sky" - Paraphrasing

For decades, technology and engineering in architecture have advanced exponentially, yielding countless colossal skyscrapers in the world. Currently, the tallest skyscraper is known as the Sears Tower. However, the designers are not satisfied enough with the tower; a vigorous global competition in producing the most prodigious building is motivating the architects to establish an even taller building. For example, Structural engineer William LeMessurier has designed an approximately 0.8km-high magnificent edifice, which is about twice the height of the Sears Tower. On the other hand, an architect Robert Sobel claims that the current skills in technology is able to produce a maximum 500-story skyscraper, and is probably aiming for the achievement. It is very interesting to watch the tenacious designers energetically moving forth with their intelligence. I wonder just where is the limit for a building; for architects, sky is the limit.
Source from Ron Bachman, "Reaching for the Sky." Dial (May 1990): 15.

College Application Essay - Final Draft

In my life, I have always shown great attitude but no aptitude in sports. However, my determined attitude later turned out to be people’s way of describing my character.

On a swimming competition day, the only available race for me to participate was 200m breaststrokes. I gasped – I was a bona fide beginner. Within a few minutes, I was standing on the diving board, ready to be sucked into the deep water. As I surreptitiously glanced at my sides, I recoiled at the sight of two, tall, buff age-champions stretching their arms. I immediately felt my body shrinking to make itself even smaller. However, I was already firmly resolved to attend and finish the race. Shutting my eyes tight, I leapt.

The next thing I knew was that my goggles had slipped down to my nose. Bewildered, I gulped down a mouthful of water, and scrambled my way up to the atmosphere. When I emerged above the surface, roaring laughter burst out from crowds. Embarrassed, I hastily pulled up my goggles and hysterically waved my arms and legs to catch up with the distant competitors.

The fiasco continued, and finally I was facing the last 50m of the race. When I heaved myself up, I caught a glimpse of the finished competitors. Quickly, I hid myself back in the water and kept going.

Why was I keep going? The result was obvious, an absolute failure. As the word ‘failure’ stabbed my heart, tears started welling up in my eyes and my arms slowed down. I wanted to give up and dash out of the pool. Nonetheless, coming first was not what I had aimed for in this race. My purpose had been finishing, not winning. The failure would make me lose, but could never stop me. I did not succumb to the stupid exhaustion or humiliation. I was going to finish the race.

I fiercely paddled my arms again, combating the agonizing pain in my body. Soon, I stretched my hand out for the tantalizing wall. A weak touch, and I was done. Puffing, I slowly lifted my head up and dragged myself out of the pool.

“Go Gina! You made it!”

My body was extremely fatigued, but I could clearly hear the people’s shouts. Then, the principal walked up to me patted me on the back. She exclaimed, “In my entire life I have never seen a student more determined than you!”

From then on, the word ‘determined’ always followed me around. I was not the best, but I always did my best to achieve my purposes.

Until now, I have begun and completed countless races not only in pool lanes but also in every aspect of my life. Still, I have no clue about my “final race” – the finale to my endeavor is not visible as the wall of the swimming pool had been. However, one thing remains clear. I will never give up until I reach the end, because that is my attitude, determined more than anyone.

College Application Essay - 2nd Draft

In my life, I have always shown great attitude but no aptitude in sports. However, the attitude later turned out to be people’s way of describing my character.

It was my 7^th grade swimming competition day, and the only spot available for me was in the 200m race. I gasped – I was a bona fide beginner. Nevertheless, within a few minutes, I was standing on the diving board, ready to be sucked into the deep water. As I surreptitiously glanced at my sides, I recoiled at the sight of two, tall, buff age-champions relaxing and stretching their arms. I immediately felt my body shrinking to make itself even smaller. Shutting my eyes tight, I leapt.

The next thing I knew was that my goggles had slipped down to my nose and icy water was biting at my naked eyes. Bewildered, I gulped down a mouthful of water, and scrambled my way up to the atmosphere. When I emerged above the surface, roaring laughter burst out from the crowd. Embarrassed, I hastily pulled up my goggles and hysterically waved my arms and legs to catch up with the distant competitors.

The chaotic period of fiasco continued, and finally I was facing the last 50m of the race. I heaved myself up and caught a glimpse of the already-finished competitors. Quickly, I hid myself back in the water and kept going. However, why was I keep going? This was an absolute failure. As the word ‘failure’ carved into my heart, tears started welling up in my eyes. However, it was when the failure became so manifest that my burning determination came alive.

The failure would make me lose, but could never stop me. I could never succumb to the stupid exhaustion or humiliation. Therefore, I was going to finish the race. Once again, I fiercely combated the agonizing pain in my body and stumbled my way through the pool. Soon, I stretched my hand out for the tantalizing wall. A gentle touch, and I was done. Puffing, I slowly lifted my head up and dragged myself out of the pool.

“Go Gina! You made it!”

My body was very weak and I could not walk straight, but I clearly heard the people’s shouts. Then, I the principal came to shake my wet hand. She exclaimed, “Whoa, Gina! In my entire life I have never seen a student more determined than you!”

From then on, the word ‘determined’ has always followed me around. I am not the best in anything, but I always do the best of my ability to achieve what I want.

Until now, I have begun and completed countless races not only in pool lanes but also in every aspect of my life. Still, I have no clue about my final race – the finale to my endeavor is not visible like the wall of the swimming pool. However, one thing remains clear. I will never give up until I reach there, because that is my attitude, determined more than anyone.

Migrant Mother - revised

 I want to weep, but no tears trickle down. I want to shout, but my mouth does not open. I want to stamp my feet and beat my chest, but all my energy is sapped out of body. The tears, screams, and tantrums of of the continuous depressing days remain stifled in me. What I can do is simply frown at the jet-black future. Without my husband, I have no one to rely on, and it is all my duty to care for the brittle lives of my innocent children. Today will be gone soon, thankfully without any fuss. However, what is going to happen tomorrow? I feel my heart tighten with nervousness. From trembling with constant tension, I know that on my forehead, my greasy hair is plastered down with sweat, and feint wrinkles are badly etched. In the olden days, I was a young, pretty girl with no greasy hair or wrinkles. However, now here I am sitting down as a weak old woman, looking for some kind of hope that I can depend on. Grimacing, I blankly scratch my weathered chin.

I feel chilly in my badly-worn, sooty clothes. I am desperate to get changed into new, clean, and warm clothes, but obviously I do not have any money. Sadly, I cuddle my baby with one arm so at least he would not feel the cold. My poor kids want to be cuddled too, and snuggle into me. Realizing that I have no strength to wrap my arms around them, they helplessly lean on my narrow shoulders. As I hear their weak complaints and pleas, my heart tells them that nothing is going to change, but my lips remain pursed. Should I keep moving to the South with these kids, seeking for food and shelter? Oh, I do not know. I do not want to take more risks, as that will cost more hunger and more pain, but never end this journey of Great Depression. I keep on blankly staring at the dark sky that is now gathering up ominous clouds. Soon, I see a streak of light making its way through the mass of clouds. Right now, all I can depend on as hope is that shimmering light.

Migrant Mother

 I want to weep, but no tears trickle down. I want to scream, but my mouth does not open. I want to stamp my feet and beat my chest, but all my energy is sapped out of body. What I can do is simply frown at the jet-black future. Today will be gone soon, thankfully without any fuss. However, what is going to happen tomorrow? I feel my heart tighten with nervousness. I know that on my forehead, my greasy hair is plastered down with sweat, and feint wrinkles are badly etched. My head is heavy with gloomy thoughts, and to support it, I gently place my hand under my chin.

I feel chilly in my badly-worn, sooty clothes. Instantly, I cuddle my baby with one arm so at least he would not feel the cold. My poor kids want to be cuddled too, and snuggle into me. Realizing that I have no strength to wrap my arms around them, they helplessly lean on my narrow shoulders. As I hear their weak complaints and pleas, my heart tells them that nothing is going to change, but my lips remain pursed. Should I move to the South, seeking for food and shelter? Oh, I do not know. I do not want to take more risks, as that will cost more hunger and more pain. I keep on blankly staring at the dark sky that is now gathering up ominous clouds. Soon, I see a streak of light making its way through the mass of clouds. Right now, all I can depend on is that shimmering light.

The Potatoes

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Three shots pierced the afternoon air, shattering the humid atmosphere and sending chills through the bones. I flinched. Nivolschiky was finally dead. The “human predator” Nivolschiky was a Georgian accomplice to massacres, murdering a horrifying number of Ossetians. My husband Phillip had been one of the victims; three years ago he died in front of me right here, as Nivolschiky’s bayonet stabbed his chest and sent the blood gushing down his clothes.

After Phil’s death, my kids and I roved around South Ossetia, absconding away from the hawk-eyed Nivolschiky. Everyday we trembled with fear of being captured and shot. We sometimes thought he was immortal, the only human who could combat death and win. However, deep inside me, there was something more than a fear that made me shudder: anger. The flames of anger burned feverishly in my mind every second I missed Phil. For three agonizing years I craved for an independence that would give me the chance to kill Nivolschiky with my own hands.

Just now the despicable enemy died, in front of me. Was he really Nivolschiky? I rubbed my eyes and tried to see his face more closely. Even before I fully recognized his death, another set of raucous bangs made me recoil back. Wide-eyed with fright, kids scuffled behind my back and leaned on my shoulders for a comfort. Another young man fell down with a thump, covered in bright red. I immediately noticed he was one of the fellow Georgian soldiers caught with Nivolschiky.

Again, nerve-wrecking gunshots rang aloud. This time, I instructed my kids not to put their heads up, so that they would not watch the blood spluttering everywhere. As I slowly turned my head to see the deceased soldier, I simply lost words. Bang! The last gunshot went off to make sure the man was dead. The last bullet seemed to wind around and fly towards me, puncturing the middle of my head. My heart stopped dead as the man’s slight jerk signaled the end of his life. I tried to breathe but the shock suffocated me. I tried to close my eyes but my eyelids did not even wince at the terrible death. Suddenly, everything in my sight blew up into confetti and the only person I could see was the dead man. No, he was not a dead man. He was a dead boy, Miriam.

Before the Ossetia-Georgia conflict, Miriam and I used to live next door. Even though we were all starving, we shared the small amount of foods together, as we were best friends. Around the time, the Georgian government allured the guiltless children to make them confess where the Ossetians were living. When the kids revealed the Ossetian hiding places, the government gave them some food or money. Penniless and destitute like everyone, Miriam could not endure the daily hunger anymore. Promptly, he gave away the details of my family and several other Ossetians’ dwelling places. As a reward, he received a bag of dirty potatoes.

Recalling Miriam's betrayal, I understood why the Ossetian soldiers killed him along with other captured Georgians. Nevertheless, he was a child. He was the same age as my younger son George, turning 10 this year. As I gazed at Miriam’s grubby face with sad, open eyes, hot tears trickled down my cheeks. What I had plainly wanted was a revenge on Nivolschiky, and freedom granted to my people. Now I think about it, was I oblivious of this bloodstained independence? Was I no different from an innocent, hungry child, who had simply wanted the shabby potatoes?

Narrative Essay 3rd Draft

There are times when you are in such an ecstasy that you feel dazed. The tingling sensation of rapture crawls around in your body, giving you electric shots that seem to numb your entire organ systems.

I shook hands with the minister of Queensland. Despite the fact that it was the scene I had dreamed for a long time, I didn’t sense anything special – I simply felt stupefied. As soon as my hand wrapped around his hand, there were blinding flashes everywhere. Professional cameras clicked energetically, making me even more dazed. As I gradually recovered from the temporary anesthesia, flashes slowly ceased and a young woman came up to me.

“So Gina, how were you able to become the school captain? Do you have any special plans or ambitions?” Jillian Whiting, an ABC News reporter, asked in an excited voice.

“Umm… I…” I started hesitantly. Suddenly, my mind was deluged with flashbacks of my previous saccharine years.

My life in Australia began when I was 11 years old. I was such an innocent girl, living a simplistic, positive life, so simple that I thought moving to a new school barely knowing English would be just as simple. Then I soon perceived the reality. I wasn’t able to talk, understand, write, or read. A complete cut-off from communication gave me a vindictive title of ‘deafy’. The inability to freely communicate changed my personality from extrovert to introvert, and my Asian background formed an even wider gap between the friends and me. Everyday, I cried of loneliness, humiliation, and isolation. The only way to get out of the nightmare was to study and learn English. Every second of school I had to gulp down anxiety, embarrassment, and sadness, but the agony propelled me to study harder.

At the beginning of grade 7, I was nominated for the school captain position. This, I thought, was my chance. Every night I spent my energy practicing my speech, determined to acquire the position. At the end of the Election Day, I heard my name being announced as the year’s school captain. The months of pain and melancholy gently evaporated, leaving my body light and fresh. The sudden lift of the heavy burden gave me chills and brought me unwanted flush of tears; in the midst of cheering roars, I wept uncontrollably.

My story was broadcasted on the ABC News by Jillian, and that was when a whole new life began. The next day, I was a school star; and the day after, I was the “town star”. St. Lucia Supermarket woman recognized me. Curry restaurant’s waiters greeted me as “the captain”. The people on the streets glanced at me and smiled. Everyday I savored the ecstatic numbness I felt during the handshake with the minister. My life was suddenly from a failure to a victory.

Few days later, I was walking around with a bunch of new Australian friends when I saw Xiao. Xiao was my first Chinese friend I had made at the school, and I ran to her with overflowing excitement. However, she was not excited to see me at all. When the other girls left us alone, Xiao all of a sudden started to cry.

“Go to them, Gina,” Xiao said. “I can’t be your friend anymore. You are too good for me. We had been equally bad at English, but you worked hard and succeeded, while I never did anything.”

Startled, I said ‘no way’, and told her how she was still my good friend. Looking a little bit relieved, Xiao said, “Gina, I am so proud of you. You are not just my friend – you are my hope.”

BAM! It was then when her words punched me right in the face. I was her hope? The word “hope”, instead of being interpreted as a compliment, shattered my dreamy happiness and shook me awake to see the reality. The satisfaction and content with ecstatic numbness burst into flames, leaving the ashes meandering around, unable to settle. I was extremely confused and bewildered as the great happiness slithered away from me. For weeks, I had been intoxicated with my achievement and the fame. However, that was not my duty as the school captain. My true responsibility was to help and encourage people like Xiao. I closed my eyes and the flashback started – my struggle through English with the single hope of overcoming the nightmare. I was not to forget my painful past; I was supposed to support the others through empathy and understanding. I was destined to give them “the hope” to overcome the hardship in communication and eventually succeed.

As I was coming to a realization, a big event was beginning in my school. STEM, short for Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics Convention, was being held at a local high school, and my school was going to participate. When I wasn’t even aware of the Convention, Xiao urged me to go with her. Without thinking, I simply followed her, never expecting to find my potential talents.

Our task for the Convention was designing an experiment and presenting it at the conference. Blankly, I decided to participate and become partners with Xiao. When the others heard about my partner, they started to whisper.

“Why Xiao? There are plenty of other smarter people. Xiao can’t even speak in correct English. Xiao’s gonna totally fail Gina.”

I was outraged at the malicious, nasty people. I felt my body tremble, and my fist rising up to smack the girls in the face. However, I did not let my anger take over me. I remained patient, and decided to show the evil kids who Xiao and I really were.

The next day, we chose our topic as “Acid Rain’s Effect on Plant Growth”. Xiao bought sets of plants to be used in the experiment, and I organized them in the school backyard. Each day, we would water the sets of plants with tap water, vinegar, and synthetic acid rain solution, and then record the observations in detail. As I was doing the task, I became more and more interested in science experiment. I had to thank Xiao for giving me the chance to discover my interest. I realized that I was skilled in organizing the experiment and collecting data - I found my potential talent.

Our assignment continued well, until one day, a severe storm raged across the town and demolished our experiment set. With the plants destroyed, Xiao and I could not continue the task anymore. Frustrated, we cried helplessly, when Xiao came to a conclusion – to write about the accident so that the evaluators can at least see our full, honest process.

On the presentation day, we put up our results posters. Quite confident, we looked around the conference to see how the others did. We were shocked. From a field of biology to a world of chemistry, from the world of chemistry to wonders of physics, from the wonders of physics to hidden features of Earth Science, from the hidden features of Earth Science to marvels of mechanics… Tens of other upper grade teams had much more complicated and interesting experiments that varied in all sorts of topics. The diverse experiment designs that equally had excellent-looking posters, photos, samples, and simulations were incomparable to our rudimentary work. The only thing we could do was to dumbly gawk at the fantastic works of the other groups.

At the end of the day, the evaluators gave out awards for best topic, best knowledge, best presentation, etc. We obviously did not have the best topic, best knowledge, or best presentation. We did not even have to worry about the other awards, because we were certainly not getting one. Not anticipating any surprises, Xiao and I were quietly listening to the results, and clapping automatically when people with cantaloupe smiles ran up to the stage. We were dozing off in our seats from tiredness when the conference was announcing the recipients for another award.

“The winner of the best scientific process goes to 7^th grade students – Gina Lee and Xiao Chen!”

I jolted upright as my eyes flew open. For a second, I thought I had unnoticeably drifted off into a favorable dream. When I looked at my side, Xiao was blinking and frowning with disbelief and confusion. If it had been my dream, how come Xiao was baffled like me? My heart started to beat. Fast. I kept on shaking my head to comprehend the situation. May be this is a strange coincidence where there are two other 7^th grade students whose names are same as our names. However, the possibility was very rare. We were both gaping at each other when a teacher standing on the side poked us hard on the shoulders to go up on the stage. What was going on…?

Then I understood. We had done it.

Yes! We made it! We won, Xiao! What a dramatic achievement! Fighting back the tears of glory and awe, we dashed up to the stage and held up the dazzling trophy as high as we could. The trophy was pleasantly cool like a crisp autumn morning air, and bright like the sparkles of a magnificent pink diamond. As my eyes welled up with the unwanted tears again, my sights blurred and the words ‘Best Scientific Process – WINNER’ seemed to be gleefully swimming across the trophy. We heard the raucous cheers of our school and other school’s encouraging claps. Panting with joy and excitement, we looked at each other and grabbed each other’s hands firmly. Oh, how that handshake was warm and welcoming! That was a real handshake. I felt something different from the encounter with the minister, different from the electoral as the school captain, and different from the days of fame. I was not dazed. I felt the true happiness of success.

Until now, the happiness at the STEM remains as the biggest happiness in my life. Why? Even though my life had seemed perfect after becoming the school captain, I had never known about the true success. I did achieve the highest position possible for a student, but that was minimal compared to Xiao and my “co-victory”. I now know that success is not done alone, but is achieved together. Abraham Lincoln said “we can succeed only by concert, not as individuals.” It is not just I who win; it is we. In addition, the STEM glory “kicked the butts” of the evil friends, and proved that even the team of two non-talented people can succeed.

During the interview, Jillian Whiting asked me two things: my story and my ambition. Engrossed in describing my story, I actually forgot to answer about my future goals as the school captain, and my year passed away without any goals planned or achieved. Fortunately, my life does not end with the school captain, and I can always achieve something higher. Therefore, now I answer Jillian’s question. My ambition is to understand and care for the others who have hard time learning and adapting to new cultures, because I know better than anyone how much that is difficult. I want to help them in real action, for example by becoming friends with shy, not-so-popular second English speakers who are frustrated at their school. In a more holistic sense, I would like to visit and help the foreign laborers in Korea and support their rights to the full deed. Most importantly, I want to let them know that we can all succeed when we endeavor together. We can help each other out by seeking for each other's potential talents. It is my goal to savor the “true success” with all of those individuals. Let me begin.